No New Messages {Write At The Merge/Trifecta/Studio30Plus)

There was blood in the water. 

And beds were burning.

Even as Daphne came out of her shitty night’s sleep she could almost smell the strange aroma of iron and sulfur that had infused her dreams.

Something was coming and it wasn’t good.

So she stretched, kicked off the warm covers and hesitantly reached for her phone. Lights were blinking, notifying her of various things and people, but the colored icon that she desperately longed to see wasn’t making an appearance this morning.

He’d texted yesterday to tell her that there would be no more communication between them, as if leaving her had just been one of the many tasks he’d needed to address that day. She’d expected it, if for no other reason than earlier in the week he had been attentive, sweet, even surprisingly engaged which naturally meant that he would begin the gentle art of pulling away in shame or regret.

Hey, he wasn’t perfect but damn he was predictable.

Maybe the greatest lesson he’d taught her was that she could count on him to charge and then fall back, rely on him to confess that he “just couldn’t do this anymore” and then show up as if he were just as surprised at his own presence.

But yesterday the texts that had started with the usual accusations of her had melted into “My feelings have been… fleeting…for weeks.”  As if he’d searched his vocabulary for a word that could explain their relationship away.

The word had hurt.

Even as her fingers hovered over the virtual keyboard, silently imploring a word of her own to change his mind, she wondered if one even existed.

Suddenly she’d felt nauseous.

Suddenly her own pleas of love had sounded as weak as she felt.

“Please don’t do this” she’d finally typed before closing her eyes to dreams of razor-like teeth and bright orange flames ripping at and scorching her skin.

*no new messages* 

Oh yes, there was blood in the water.

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writing prompt

 

This week at WRITE ON EDGE there were 2 prompts

both having a DOWN UNDER feel

Kangas and “BEDS ARE BURNING” by the Aussie Band, Midnight Oil

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for Trifecta, the word of the week was the 3rd definition of WEAK

3: not factually grounded or logically presented  

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For Studio30Plus, the prompts were the words FLEETING and SHARKS.

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Whew! I think I about covered ALL OF THAT wouldn’t you say?
Thanks for stopping by…HAPPY WEEK/HAPPY WRITING

 

 

 

 

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About Kir

Kirsten is a wife after years of dating, a mom after years of infertility & a lover of shoes, words, NYC and TV dramas. A storyteller and daydreamer at heart, this is the place where her stories come to be told. Thanks for visiting.

Comments

  1. Sometimes the effort to reel them back in just isn’t worth it! I wonder whose blood is in the water?

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      Ah the blood in the water is really just referring to the things under the surface that have changed about their relationship this time and the frenzy of emotions (as opposed to sharks) that is likely to come out of it.

      this man is not worth her efforts, but Daphne does not know that yet..uh-oh. 😉

  2. I’m intrigued by the blood in the water reference. And that word – fleeting – when put to a relationship would HURT. And after someone uses that word, any remarks of LOVE would seem so weak…so wrong…desperate even, maybe?

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      YES, Rox. You’re right. Fleeting is not a positive word, why would anyone want a love affair to be fleeting or feelings to be fleeting?

      I’m so glad you got that in these words, that weak and fleeting almost walk hand in hand in this piece.

      And I sent you the meaning of “blood in the water” so i know that you know how I was trying to use it. Meaning that something is there for all the makings of chaos and a frenzy of emotions.

      thank you Rox, you’ve been such a wonderful help with my writing lately.

  3. ‘Hey, he wasn’t perfect but damn he was predictable.’ – great line!
    He doesn’t feel worth keeping. Nice character building in this piece Kir!

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      I’m so glad you liked that line, one of my “walk to the bathroom to get it just right” lines.

      no, this man is not worth keeping, BUT the problem is that Daphne will want to keep him..and in that lies their story (and demise).

      thank you so much for reading!!! I do appreciate the visit very much.

  4. Great character study, Kir. You nailed the guy. (Pun maybe intended only after I realized what I said. :)) The blood in the water referenced twice makes me wonder about a possible miscarriage – literal or metaphorical? Great use of your prompt word, fleeting. Ouch on that one. Well done, as we have come to expect!

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      HI Steph,
      well I never thought about a miscarriage. I wanted to use that idiom to talk about how something has changed with their relationship and that there is something there now that has all the makings for chaos or a frenzy of emotions (instead of sharks). But Miscarriage would be an interesting way to go …hmmm.

      Fleeting. Wow, I do not like that word, I mean who wants emotions or relationships that are fleeting?

      thank you so much for reading and for commenting, I always love knowing what you thought. TGIF :)

  5. Oh Kir! I feel like there is so much under the surface here-so much that can turn water red. Once again, well done!

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      YES!! Valerie, YES. You got this with me and I’m so happy I feel like chair dancing. (Maybe I will anyway!)
      the blood in the water reference was exactly for that, that there is something beneath the surface that is lending itself to a chaotic frenzy of feelings. I could just hug you…

      thank you for the visit, the comment and your insight…all of it is appreciated.

      TGIF my friend.

  6. Great job of carrying us through your protagonist’s emotional see-sawing as she tries to come to grips with her breakup. And this line “as if leaving her had just been one of the many tasks he’d needed to address that day”? Totally sums up why I hope she manages to sweep the dust of him away–what a putz! Beautifully written, Kir–as always.

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      HI Kallan Annie,
      I’m so glad you liked it, glad that a line like that stuck with you and made you tell me. I love when that happens.

      thank you for the visit and the time you took to comment. I hope you know how much I appreciate it.
      TGIF.

  7. That’s one fish that’s best tossed back to sea. He doesn’t seem like he’s worth the effort she’s expending trying to right a failing relationship.

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      we always want what we can’t have, or believe that things are not as bad as they really are, don’t we?

      I mean I used to…before I found my husband.

      but this man, this one Daphne seems intent on believing, he is the worst kind of shark.

      hope you have a great weekend, I owe your blog a good long visit, hoping I can get over there today. I appreciate you reading and visiting so much.

  8. Love your use of the word fleeting. That is painful. Great job!

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      Hi Ashley,
      thank you for the visit.
      Yes, Fleeting always reminds me of a man that actually said that me, that his feelings were fleeting. I remembered how it hurt then and then used it. Some good comes out of the bad breakup once again. LOL
      Fleeting never sounds like a positive or good word to me, I mean who wants something fleeting?

      have a great weekend

  9. Hmm, well done! You’ve got some great visuals here as well. My suggestion if/when you revisit is to maybe look at your adverb use. There’s a lot of -lys happening here. But that’s me being nit-picky. It was pointed out to me once or twice that I’m an adverb junkie so it’s forefront in my mind today.

    And yes, very vivid and the roller-coaster emotions of the relationship is tangible. Excellent job!

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      HI Shel
      First, thank you for the suggestions, I will get rid of all those adverbs. I do love adverbs…like I love potato chips.

      while this wasn’t autobiographical sometimes I feel the need to say I’m sorry for it being so brutal, so visceral.

      thank you for reading and commenting. Means a lot to me. TGIF.

  10. That was brutal, and hard to read. Such visceral emotions spelled out without holding anything back.

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      First, I’m sorry it was hard to read. I saw the prompts, Fleeting, Sharks, Weak , Beds Burning and all I could think of was a relationship imploding or being ripped apart.
      thank you for reading and commenting anyway, I’ll try to do light, romantic, fun next week. :)

      • NO! When you write like this, it has such honesty. This sort of relationship happens, and you do as well writing beds burning as you do hearts afire. Never apologize for being a wonderful writer.

        • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

          you made me cry. I mean I was close to crying all week anyway, but thank you for saying that.

          For you to consider me a writer at all is the gift. Thank you.

  11. Draug419 says:

    This is intense. A great piece.

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      yes, and I’m almost sorry it was. It seemed like it’s hard to read and I didn’t want that.

      thank you for coming over…and I am coming to you today. I owe you a nice long visit TGIF.

  12. Hated knowing how she felt… Loved how we did feel the shark in the end also!

  13. You always capture the raw intensity of heartache and loss so perfectly.

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      I’m starting to wonder if that is a good or bad thing? 😉

      well at least I get to offer some closure for all of us who had a relationship go so horribly wrong.

      thanks for visiting!!!

  14. KymmInBarcelona says:

    New technologies, new ways of torturing ourselves.
    Nailed it, Kir!

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      Oh you are so right, my friend. :)
      thank you for visiting and reading. You know I love when you come over.
      TGIF

  15. What a great piece. I loved it. So well-written. Rings so true.

  16. Someday you will recognize the amazing words you string together as being FABULOUS writing. You have a gift Kir of taking a simple phrase and infusing it with emotions to make the reader cringe in reaction or want to cry with the character.

  17. Oh, very sad. There have been so many posts about relationships this week!

michaux.mariah@mailxu.com maysonjamila
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