The Offering

decemberists lyrics, hazards of love, quote, writing prompt

 

The altar

Your fingertip traced my naked skin, a small pulse beneath the fleshy pad beating out a predetermined path from my cheekbone down to the indented curve of my hip until your hand rested on my ass.

Naturally, without a fight, a gentle nudge opened my body to yours.

I lifted my face to the kiss, your hands gently taking hold of my breasts.

“Goddess.” You breathed as I held my own, waiting.

Knife sharpened

In that moment, I wanted nothing more than this; the assurance that the hazards of love would never trouble us again.

After all, weren’t you here, inside me, on top of me, filling me with the sweet nectar of your lies?

“Baby…”

The shackles clamped shut

Knowing your words appeased me like a fattened calf you tipped my leg and took me from behind, spilling your confessions mid- thrust.

“I won’t be able to call from Paris.”

An intentional avoidance of my pleading eyes as your blade pierced

Now, I was the obligation; the relative you remember at Christmas out of a sense of responsibility.

Maybe it was better that you couldn’t see the tears that threatened, that the sound of our bodies meeting in pleasure masked the barely audible rip and tear of my heart.

Better that you witnessed my legs shake and my body ripple with satisfaction as you placed a kiss in the hollow of my neck.

“I love you, beautiful.”

The cut was deep, crimson blood ran in a painful river down the pedestal you erected

I winced.

There is no stitch that will ever close that wound.

Even now, when I know not what waits on the other side, I lie still and spread on that slab.

Your sacrifice.

 ********************************

I am so sorry for combining so many prompts but I wanted to write for everyone and I’m in the middle of a busy week.

Write on Edge

prompt above with a lyric by the Decemberists.

Trifecta’s word of the week:

Remember

3 a :  to keep in mind for attention or consideration    b :  REWARD – 

 

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About Kir

Kirsten is a wife after years of dating, a mom after years of infertility & a lover of shoes, words, NYC and TV dramas. A storyteller and daydreamer at heart, this is the place where her stories come to be told. Thanks for visiting.

Comments

  1. Kir, this is absolutely stunning piece :), loved reading it!

  2. Ouch. That the betrayal comes at such an intimate moment makes it worse; this is terribly cutting. Well done!
    Annabelle recently shared…Blowing SmokeMy Profile

  3. Stunning! I am in awe of so many prompts to be included in one piece. The choice to weave the pain inside of the pleasure is just brilliant.
    Debbie recently shared…WordPressers in the PressMy Profile

  4. I could feel the blade in my own flesh. Very well done, and clever to combine all those prompts!

  5. Bravo on combining all the prompts. Well done! As Debbie says – weaving the pain with the pleasure works well. You’ve captured the emotion so well it hurts.
    steph recently shared…Cat’s EyeMy Profile

  6. I’m impressed! So many prompts, so much emotion – very nice :)
    jannatwrites recently shared…Not-So-Brilliant Idea – Speakeasy #135My Profile

  7. Only you could keep a whole sling of prompts in the boudoir, Kir!
    I really liked the asides following the theme of sacrifice.
    You fooled me into thinking the alter would be the wedding kind : )
    KymmInBarcelona recently shared…Tea with the NeighborsMy Profile

  8. That was intense and heartbreaking. You definitely know how to take us on a journey.
    Jennifer recently shared…Burning Eyes and a Sledgehammer to the TempleMy Profile

  9. Wow, Kir. This is incredible. If this is what happens when you combine prompts…I’d say go for it. This is a stunning piece of writing.

  10. KIR!

    Wow. I’m still trying to put all the pieces together as I try to really understand the depth of this amazing prose. Is it ok if I call it that? Prose? To me, that is what it was, and it was so passionate and full of emotion. Hope and despair were as tangled as legs in a pulled out bed sheet…

    p.s. a little confusion is happening in this line: “After all, weren’t you were here, inside me”
    Marie Nicole recently shared…Facing an Obstacle: Do you Turn it into an Ordeal or an Adventure?My Profile

  11. Such raw emotions-ripped my heart apart Kir!Your writing is like nothing AI have ever seen-such richness,such imagery-so many layers-am breathless with wonder at the magic you created-I bow to your amazing talent-bravo!
    Atreyee recently shared…The agony of it allMy Profile

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      HI Atryee,
      Don’t bow to anything I write my friend. I am just glad you come to read me and comment. Honestly, that is more than enough for me.

      also, when I share something like this, something that is born out of a real experience in my past, taken from my memories, I just want to know that someone is reading and listening…for you to do that makes me happy .

      have a great weekend

  12. There’s some beautiful imagery going on in this piece. And you officially win the prize for most prompts successfully combined:)
    trifectawriting recently shared…Trifecta: Week 103My Profile

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      thank you Trifecta. I do smile a bit brighter when you’ve enjoyed something I shared.

  13. This is so incredibly intense…and your words beautiful as you painted such a twisted scene.
    Honestly, I am in awe.
    Wonderful job.

    Have you ever heard “Red Right Ankle” by The Decemberists? It’s an older song but an ever lasting personal favorite.
    I’ll link the video for you.
    ANDDD…here it is:)

    http://youtu.be/bX0FbSsN_vg
    seablackwithink recently shared…A MESH OF PIXILLATED FLESH :CRAZED : HOTFLASH!My Profile

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      HI you.
      You. My new, amazing friend.

      I am going to add this song to my new favorite playlist, thank you for sharing it. Thank you for everything lately.
      xo

  14. Again, you have created a moment of pleasure and pain so incredibly real.
    Tara R. recently shared…Halfway thereMy Profile

    • kpiccini@weichertrealtors.net says:

      some days I really hate that I write these ever mindful of how it feels instead of conjuring it from my imagination. However, the writing is good for the healing. I think.

      thanks for reading.

  15. Chills, Kir.

    So heartbreaking.
    Shell recently shared…The Evolution of Mom FriendsMy Profile

  16. WOW WOW WOW! You have such a beautiful way of painting a picture with your words. xo

  17. Kir, there is so much in this and I want to know more. Where they have been, where he is going, what happened? I read books fast because I simply must know the whole story. I love the combination of pleasure and pain here, and while this piece is graphic, it is very representative of many things we all experience in relationships on a different level. So now I want to read your book and and find out the whole story.

    And BTW the prompts are so many it is awesome. I used to have a list of DIY prompts or parties and some posts would have 10! There are still times I see posts with 2 0 or more. But I have never seen a fiction piece be appropriate for so many. Kudos to you!
    Brittany recently shared…DIY Plumbing Pipe TableMy Profile

  18. I am not sure I am ever fully prepared to read one of your pieces of writing. The fact that you created this? This captivating, emotional experience out of multiple prompts??

    Ahh my friend. You have such gorgeous talent, and I love reading each and every time.
    Ashley recently shared…Baking Better for the HolidaysMy Profile

  19. I so love your fiction! I really, really do.

    This piece… wow. It does leave chills with each line read. Part of me wants to yell at her to ditch him and the other part says… NO! Then the story would end.

  20. I can’t even find the words to tell you how amazing this piece is. Your writing is amazing, Kir. There is so much heart-break and pain throughout, but you write it with such delicate breath. Honestly, this is phenomenal.
    Roxanne recently shared…Dead of winter.My Profile

  21. “there is no stitch that will ever close that wound.” … heartbreaking. Hopefully in time, the wound will scar over and be a memory of pain past.

  22. Oh you sweet and oh so spicy friend of mine … you dig deep and go for the heart and soul each and every time …
    Also, when you write this way …
    you remind me that I should still be thinking of having sex …
    at some point …
    In the near future 😉
    sisters from another mister recently shared…Be thankful. And treading water.My Profile

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